The other woman
by ElyssaCousland
Summary: Another drabble: Elyssa doesn't take Alistair's ritual with Morrigan all that well. Then again, neither do Alistair or Morrigan.


"Alistair?"

"Oh, good, you couldn't sleep either?" He pulled her into a tight hug. "I would have come to your room, but with all the sisters and Templars about, I didn't want to be seen 'fraternizing'. Why did you think me being King was a good idea, again? I liked it better when I was an anonymous nobody, and could do as I liked."

"We need to talk."

"Nothing good ever comes out of a conversation that starts like that."

"Yeah, I suspect you won't like what I have to say."

"Better and better."

"You know that I love you more than anything, right?"

"Would you just spit it out already? Tomorrow we march for the darkspawn horde, and I'm already on edge enough as it is."

"I'll get there. I promise. It's just...you know how we learned about the way to kill an archdemon?"

"Yes. One more reason I cannot sleep."

"What if I told you...that there was a way to do it without either of us dying."

"I'm certain Riordan would have mentioned such a possibility, if it existed."

"What if the solution was...somewhat, let's say, unorthodox? Something prohibited by the Chantry?"

"What on earth are you talking about?"

"I want you to perform a magical ritual. With Morrigan."

"Ah, Blood Magic. With my favourite evil apostate."

"She's not evil, Alistair. Truly. I know she lacks certain morals – you've met Flemeth, can you blame her? - but she means well. Mostly."

"I'll have to take your word on that. What does this ritual involve?"

"You have to sleep with her, Alistair. Now. Tonight."

"I knew this was a practical joke! Ha ha, very funny. Except...you aren't laughing. You're serious, aren't you?"

"More than I've ever been in my entire life."

"Sleep with Morrigan, or be killed by an archdemon? I think I'll take my chances with the archdemon."

"I understand, Alistair. I truly do. Do you think allowing my betrothed to have sex with another woman is something I would want? But be reasonable. You know the archdemon needs to be dealt with. You know only a Grey Warden can kill it, and it will annihilate the one who makes the killing blow. And there are only three of us, Alistair. I get the impression that Riordan is going to make some sort of suicide move to kill the dragon, but if he fails...one of us must die. You are the King of Ferelden! Between the blight, and the civil war, Ferelden cannot afford to lose you. If you die in this battle, we may have ended the blight just to doom our people anyway. I would gladly sacrifice my life to allow you to live, but I know you. You would try to stop me, and get yourself killed in the process. Besides, I will be damned before I see you married to that backstabbing bitch Anora."

"I would never marry her!"

"I notice you don't deny that you would sacrifice yourself to save me."

"Deny it? I'm proud of it. What better way to die than protecting the woman you love?" She kissed him, smiling sadly.

"You would marry Anora, and you know it. You are a person who will always, always do what is right, despite any personal cost. It is one of the things I love the most about you. Why do you think I named myself your betrothed without even consulting you? You never asked me that. But it is because I knew that I would lose you, otherwise. You need a strong Queen, and if it was not me, it would have been her. Regardless of your personal feelings. If I die, you will see that the Kingdom needs this, and you will marry Anora."

He sat on the bed in thought for a few moments, and finally slowly nodded.

"In many ways, for me, it means to lose you now for a few hours with a woman who I do consider my friend, or lose you later, forever, either to death or to life with Anora in my place."

"But this ritual...what are the long-term consequences? How do we even know it will work?"

"Isn't it worth the risk? If it doesn't work, one of us will die. What difference will a few hours apart make?"

"Are you sure 'Lys? Really, really sure?"

"I need you to trust me Alistair."

"I do. With my life. And I will do this, if it is your wish."

Morrigan entered just then, her timing making it obvious she had been eavesdropping.

"Good. We are in agreement. Shall we go somewhere more private, Alistair? You know, despite all your protests, you will probably not hate this quite as much as you think you will."

With one last anxious look, Alistair sadly followed Morrigan out of the room. Elyssa made it back to her own room before breaking down, curling up on the bed she had shared with Alistair and sobbing.

Elyssa was still awake when Alistair crept back into to his own room. He noticed his door was ajar, and stuck his blond head warily through to find her curled up on a settee, watching the fire with a faraway look on her face. Though her eyes were slightly puffy and red-rimmed, he thought she'd never looked more beautiful. He came and sat by her feet hesitantly.

"Am I disturbing you, love?"

She didn't respond, didn't really react in any way. He reached out to take her hand, and she didn't pull away, but neither did seem to welcome the touch.

"I, uh...just wanted to let you know..."

She silenced him with a quiet glare.

"Are you alright?" She pulled her hand away from him, and stood, pacing in front of the fire.

"Alistair, what about any of this means I should be alright?" He was taken aback by the venom in her tone. "My family are all dead. I am a Grey Warden, doomed to die young or go crazy. The man I love is going to be a King, on whom I have unilaterally imposed myself as Queen, and I just can't be sure that he wants me there. And to keep him safe I have to allow him, nay to coerce him to sleep with a beautiful woman who isn't me on the eve of battle. And now, here you are to tell me all about your wonderful experience. What is it exactly that I am supposed to be okay with? I do not need to hear details about your romp with Morrigan, Alistair. Not ever." Her voice, which started out quiet and controlled, rose in volume and pitch throughout the rant until by the end, she was shouting. She caught herself, covering her mouth with both hands in horror, stifling the sob that wracked her. Before he could respond, she turned and ran, fleeing to the safety of her own rooms.

After a while, there were no tears left, and she just sat, holding the beautiful rose he had given her so long ago that she had had magically preserved. A soft knock on the door broke her reverie.

"Come in, Alistair."

"Elyssa? Am I disturbing you, dear? Were you expecting someone?"

"Oh, Wynne. No. Please come in."

Wynne entered, and came to sit on the foot of the bed.

"Would you like to talk about anything, dear? From the looks on the faces of you three Grey Wardens a while back, I gather the news isn't good."

"It isn't. But I have done what I can to mitigate it, and it is in the Maker's hands now. And those of Morrigan, Maker help me. It's nothing for you to worry about, Wynne."

"Dear Elyssa. You poor girl. You have the weight of the entire world on your shoulders, and yet you spend your time trying to calm the worries of everyone around you. Sometime, you should let others do the same for you."

"I'm alright Wynne, truly."

"Right...because everyone sits alone and cries when they are alright. Don't give me that look, girl, I won't pry! Just know that I am here, if you want to talk."

Wynne reached out and took the rose Elyssa held, examining it critically.

"You know, it's held up remarkably well! Despite the traveling, being squashed in packs, dropped on the battlefield dozens of times...It always amazes me when something so beautiful, so precious, can survive such harsh conditions. This rose is like you, my Queen. Like the love you share with Alistair. It has endured, despite everything the world can throw at it, and it is even that much more stunning for having weathered the worst of the storm. Remember that." She handed the rose back, giving Elyssa's hand a reassuring squeeze, then left Elyssa deep in thought.

A few minutes later, Morrigan barged in. Elyssa sighed, mentally steeling herself for a painful, grueling conversation. She knew, after all these months of traveling and fighting alongside the mage that Morrigan was rarely intentionally cruel or callow; she just lacked anything resembling tact, and her few social graces did not cover reading body language to determine when someone else was uncomfortable or considering someone else's feelings before she spoke. Given that she'd been raised, alone, in the Korcari Wilds by a Witch who planned to eventually kill her and steal her body for herself, Elyssa knew that she could not blame Morrigan, but that rarely made the experience more pleasant when discussing something that was going to be ...sensitive.

"Yes, Morrigan? I assume it is done?"

"It is. I was worried I would find Alistair here, so I'm glad he's not. We need to talk."

"Now? Can't it wait?"

"You know that after the battle tomorrow, I will be leaving. Our deal was that you do not follow me. But it means this is my last chance."

"True enough, you are right. I'm sorry; come in. Have a seat." Elyssa had never seen Morrigan looking nervous before, and briefly wondered if the beautiful sorceress was afraid of her seeking revenge. Elyssa tried to look reassuring. "What is on your mind?"

"I am sure you have guessed that I did not have any friends growing up. I rarely ever saw people other than my mother until I was old enough to travel to the nearest village alone, and the few people we did see were generally Templars or something similar. People hunting us, not friends. So I find this a rather new sensation – I feel I need to tell you something, but am afraid to proceed lest I offend you. I have never had someone I would consider a friend before. I do not know what to do."

"Just tell me, Morrigan. I cannot promise not to be offended, but I can promise to keep in mind that it was not your intent."

"That will do, I suppose. How do I begin? Let me start by saying that I am not exactly inexperienced when it comes to men. While I grew up alone, when I was old enough I was allowed to travel to nearby villages, and I sometimes...met...men, and used them for pleasure. I imagine your noble family kept you quite sheltered, but Flemeth encouraged me to experiment."

"Uh, okay...why are you telling me this?"

"I think you should call off the wedding."

"What? Oh, Morrigan, please do not tell me you are here to gloat over your little adventure with Alistair tonight. Or, no, let me guess – after just one night he is so in love with you that you are going to be taking him with you when you go."

"No, no. While I have come to...respect...some things about Alistair, I have no desire to continue in his company. And I am certain the feeling is mutual. I am here because I am concerned about you."

"You're concerned that I will not be able to live with the fact that he slept with someone other than me?"

"No, that's not it either. Will you allow me to explain, or do you wish to continue playing twenty questions for the rest of the night?"

"I'm sorry, Morrigan." Gesturing her to go ahead, Elyssa nodded apologetically and mimed locking a padlock over her closed mouth.

"Alistair is, as I'm sure you noticed, a handsome man. And given your inexperience, perhaps you are truly unaware. But frankly, Elyssa, you need to know you can do better. Wait, I am not finished! I admire you, Elyssa. The fact of the matter is that while you are passionate, clever, and imaginative, Alistair is rigid. I believe the word to describe him is a 'prude'. I have much experience with men, but never before as lacking in pleasure as with him tonight. Given how much noise the two of you made in your tent while we were on the road, I expected something. - I don't know, something more. I suppose I should congratulate you on a very convincing performance! I tried to...help him to relax; I tried to instruct him. He refused every suggestion. He is completely unbiddable. Which means he will never learn. Elyssa, I know Grey Wardens often die young, and I would not see you tie yourself to this boring man for whatever time you may have. He is a terrible lover. I repeat – you can do much better."

During this entire tirade, Elyssa's face, which started out dark, lightened and then turned pink, then eventually almost purple with suppressed mirth. She broke out laughing as Morrigan finished, and was soon breathless, sitting beside Morrigan and wracked with hysterical laughter. Morrigan raised her eyebrows in confusion, impatiently waiting for Elyssa to get herself back under control. When the fits of giggles finally died down, Elyssa gave a very startled Morrigan a quick, fierce hug.

"I never thought I would say this, Morrigan, but you are truly a good friend. Thank you for your concern; thank you for coming to me even when you thought you might offend me. Please be at ease; I am not offended. In fact, you have solved a problem for me, unwittingly, and I am quite grateful.

"Contrary to your assertions, I am not inexperienced with men. Alistair knows this – we do not keep secrets. I will not go into detail, but suffice it to say that I know what a terrible lover is. He, on the other hand, was quite a bit more naïve when we began. But Morrigan – the problem you had with Alistair tonight is not, well, typical for him. I believe I can confidently say that the issue had precisely nothing to do with him and you, but was all to do with him and me.

"From how you describe your experience, I am guessing you have never been in love." Morrigan shook her head no. "Have you ever even been in a relationship? You know, the same man for a period of time? When you are – all you can think about, all you care about, is the person you love's feelings. The only person you want to be with is that person. He or she becomes the most appealing person you can imagine, and everyone else pales in comparison. Alistair truly loves me.

"I imagine three things were happening in that room. The first is that Alistair knew, despite my insistence that he go along with the ritual, that I would be miserable. And knowing I was unhappy, he was unhappy. He wanted to comfort me, and instead was participating in something that caused me pain. Did you expect that to make him eager? The second thing is that, well...it may seem unbelievable to you, but he does not find you attractive. And it isn't because you are unattractive, Morrigan – you are very beautiful; he simply does not see you, because you are not me. He would be equally uninterested in Wynne, or Leliana.

"The third – well, we both know that the two of you often do not get along. Sometimes, my friend, you lack tact; and Alistair can be rather...sensitive. I'm guessing that he became defensive, and stopped listening.

"I feel ridiculous telling you this, but when we are together, Alistair is the most patient, thoughtful, considerate lover I can imagine. There is nothing he would not do if I asked it of him. If I told him to stand on his head while singing Dwarven funeral dirges, he would do it if he thought I would like it. He isn't unbiddable – he was just unhappy. I have never put on a performance for him.

"Thank you for your concern. It is appreciated more than you know. But I can reassure you that you do not need to worry about me. I am quite satisfied with my choice of husband."

A few more reassurances and explanations were required, but Elyssa hurried through them, eager for Morrigan to go. Once alone, she debated, then very quickly washed her face and tidied her hair up. Changing out of her semi-formal attire, she slipped into a thin nightgown and pulled her robe around herself. After one more glance in the mirror, and a hurried check to make sure no one was watching outside her door, she nearly ran down the hallway to Alistair's room.

Pausing outside his door, she checked and could see dim light spilling out underneath it. She quickly slipped inside and closed the door behind her. Alistair looked up as she entered, his face haggard and lined with sadness.

"Elyssa!" He hissed, as quietly as he could manage. "What are you doing here? You're going to be seen!" Elyssa, still by the door, raised an eyebrow as she untied the belt on her robe.

"I am a rogue, my love. I may not be the assassin that my mother was, but I am quite sure no one in this castle saw me sneak down here. Besides, frankly, I don't care. You are my betrothed now. I have no family to object, and neither do you; I see no reason to be ashamed. Let them talk about how their future King and Queen actually love each other. I will not hide it."

Her robe abandoned on the floor, she crossed the room to lean on the desk at which he was sitting. She stood close to him, and he shifted, refusing to meet her eyes. She slid across the edge of the desk, lifting one leg up and over his, so she was directly in front of him. She reached out and gently ran her fingers through his short hair, pulling him toward her until his forehead rested against her belly. He kept his hands down, clenched on his thighs. Briefly irritated that he was going to make this hard on her, she reminded herself that she had earned this reaction, and resolved to be patient. Still stroking his hair, she spoke.

"Please don't interrupt me. I have something I need to say, and I'd like to get through it." She paused, and took his silence for affirmation. She continued.

"I am sorry, Alistair. For what I said before, for my inappropriate reaction. I will say it a hundred times, a thousand, until you believe me, but I am so very sorry. I urged you to go along with this plan, I coerced you into doing it; I abandoned you with someone you don't even like to do something you find distasteful, and then I got angry with you when you went along with it. Like it was all about me, when I wasn't the one who had to go through it.

"I have no excuse. I was jealous, and insecure. We haven't had any time to talk since the Landsmeet, and I was still anxious that you would be angry for declaring myself your Queen. I spent the entire time you were with Morrigan convincing myself that you would not care for me the same way after being with her. Self-fulfilling prophecy, it turned out, because I reacted in just the right way to make sure to push you away as hard as I could.

"Morrigan came to see me, you know. After. She advised me to call off the wedding." This revelation finally triggered a reaction, and he looked up and snarled a curse under his breath. He went to rise, but Elyssa pressed down on his shoulders, forcing him to either relax or hurt her to get up.

"She told me that you and she...well, I gather it wasn't exactly a pleasant experience. She couldn't understand it; she thought you some sort of unimaginative prude. I should have encouraged you to tell me the details, rather than push you away, because I knew exactly what had happened the minute she described it. I was so self-absorbed, pitying myself that you were going to sleep with someone else, that I never considered it from your perspective – your betrothed just sent you away on what might be our last night together to be with someone you hate.

"I am not a stupid woman; I pride myself on being more clever than many, but that does not prevent me from occasional bouts of idiocy. The worst part is that I was so dense that I forgot the most important thing, the thing that should have prevented me from going down this particular path. I forgot that I know, no matter what happens, that you love me. And that our love is strong enough to survive anything thrown at us – the blight, the war, mortal danger, months of hardship and sacrifice, and yes, even Morrigan.

"I trust you, Alistair. And I love you, more than I can ever express. It seems that I manage to put myself into situations where I always have to apologize to you, so here it goes again." She raised his chin so he met her eyes.

"I am sorry. I promise to learn from this mistake, and never to repeat it. I promise to love you and trust you for as long as we both draw breath. Alistair, my King, my future husband, will you forgive me?"

The smile on his face was incandescent and priceless, the worry lines and fatigue seeming to fade away as she watched. He finally released his clenched hands, and put his arms around her, pulling her down into his lap, burying his face in her neck, and inhaling deeply. As always, she smelled of soap, and pine needles, and ever so slightly of rose petals. With seemingly no effort, he wrapped his arms around her and stood up, and she reflected that if anyone had seen them, from a distance it would appear as though a father was carrying his little girl, so tiny did she feel in his arms. He carried her over to the massive four-poster bed, and they both laughed to realize this would be the first time they had been together actually in a bed. He manhandled her down onto the mattress in a heap, and she squealed.

"You brute! Take your hands off me this instant! What do you think you're doing, sir?" He quickly shucked out of his own formal attire – being king was going to become tiresome with all the wardrobe changes, he reflected – then crawling onto the bed menacingly as she scrambled back towards the pillows.

"You come mostly naked into a man's room in the middle of the night, and you have to ask what I'm doing? I'm just taking what is mine."

Their lovemaking was surprisingly gentle, despite the teasing; Elyssa noted that Alistair seemed to go out of his way to be even more imaginative, more perceptive than normal, and she felt a momentary stab of pity for Morrigan. Which lasted approximately three seconds until his next kiss washed away all thought in a sea of pleasure.

Later, once they had both had time to collect themselves, she brought up the wedding again.

"I am sorry I overstepped my bounds earlier and betrothed us before I had a chance to even discuss it with you. If you don't want to, I understand – I did not take the fate of our nation, or your pride, into account when I made that declaration. If you feel that you should marry someone else, even someone like Anora, I will not get in the way. Or we can wait until you are sure. I am sure I can find some way to break the engagement without penalty if you wish."

"You just try that. I'll have you arrested before you get five steps away from me. I'll keep you in the stocks until you come to your senses." She giggled, and he smiled, then sat up to fumble with something on his nightstand. "Elyssa, you will be mine, I swear it. I am not upset that you announced our engagement. I am only sorry that it meant that this looks to be an afterthought, instead of the carefully planned proposal I had arranged for tonight." With that, he handed her a ring. It was gold and silver, plaited together in the dwarvish fashion, but inscribed with elvish runes which glowed faintly in the dim light. It was breath-taking, and it slid perfectly onto her finger.

"Harrowmont?" She guessed its dwarven origin, and he smiled affirmation. "And Sandal enchanted it?" He nodded. "Wynne inscribed these runes – elvish characters for love and eternity?" He grinned at her, his pride in his own cleverness showing through.

"I thought it would serve as a reminder of the time we spent together, getting to know each other, traveling all across Ferelden. I wanted to remember those months we spent falling in love – not the battles and the darkspawn, but those first awkward kisses, that first hope that maybe together we could have something. And I want you to be my Queen. I will need you more after this battle is done than I already do, if I hope to rule this nation, quell the unrest, destroy the remaining darkspawn, feed the people, and somehow help the Grey Wardens, all at once. Will you consent to be my wife, to be with me for as long as we both draw breath, to help me and guide me to be the King our people deserve, to be the Queen they will adore?"

"Maker help me, yes. Just call me Your Majesty."


End file.
